2005.12.28: Meags' 2nd Shoot

In her words, Meags "always had a fascination with playgrounds, similar to [my] fascination with back alleys." I must have missed several important points of subsequent e-mail messages since we spent a good chunk of time searching for a suitable playground and had to compromise on one that was acceptable but less than ideal. The umbrella that I used to soften the light was a little bit small for the distance from which I wanted to work. Furthermore, I attempted to use the artificial light as a key light instead of merely a fill light thus producing unnatural-looking shadows in the photos . . . I'll know better next time.

In her last e-mail before the shoot, Meags suggested we shoot her using a photobooth. For this concept I wish that I had the 10.5mm Nikkor DX Fisheye. As expected with most stuff that I have shipped in, this lens arrived the day after we shot. Until this e-mail, I didn't think that we'd be shooting in studio and didn't put a lot of thought into the flower idea.

The washrooms on the same floor as my studio inspired the photos taken with Meags on the sink. She saw the washroom and thought that it looked kind of dingy and dumpy and wanted to do something consistent with this feel. My parents own this building and I wasn't going to tell them what Meags said so I hope that one of them sees this blog entry. And just for the record, the washrooms are very clean . . . they just look kind of unmaintained because there are strips of paint missing from the walls and stains on the vinyl floors. We grabbed a random pack of cigarettes. Some of the unprinted washroom photos totally give the model away as a poser smoker.

We've worked through about a half dozen looks without the benefit of a professional makeup artist or hairstylist and each time I consider bringing one in to work with Meags I have second thoughts; she's my mysterious secret model that no one with whom I work regularly has met. The selfish side of me almost wants to keep it this way.

Though I am pleased with many of the photos, I still feel like I may have deprived the model and myself out of what could have been a better shoot. The shoot comes at a rather perturbing time in my life and I was distracted and unfocused for most of the shoot. An activity that I love and from which I derive great joy didn't feel the same since the last time we worked together. Pressing the shutter release was at times painful, almost torturous. There were a few instances during which I just wanted to stop but the prospect of shooting another meaningful photo forced me to press on. I'm often alone processing photos or printing but I never feel alone. However, for weeks, and even at the time of this entry's publication I feel like I am serving a self-induced sentence of desolation in a cell with window through which I always see myself shooting. I didn't feel alone during this shoot and perhaps that is another reason why I continued. But I'm glad that I did . . . while I know that the photos could have been better, the more I look at the photos the more that I like them.